Me? Learn to be Thick Skinned? Never!

It seems to me that our society in general has become more cynical, more self-centered and increasingly rude.  That fact is particularly clear to me when I have interactions with certain patients and their families at work.  Last week, when pulled to another unit, I spent my whole day being be-rated, cursed at, yelled at.... over things that I had nothing to do with.  Families were upset about some of the short-comings of the staff on nights for this particular unit and chose to take it out on me. 

So, this week I was thrilled to be back on my own oncology unit where, for the most part, patients and families are a gentler breed, more appreciative, more soft-spoken.  But alas, Tuesday night ended with and Wednesday morning started with very hostile words being slung in my direction.  F-bombs galore.  Cursing and swearing of all sorts.  Name-calling of the worst kind.  Guess I was just the closest person at the very time it became too much for these individuals to bear.  My method of handling this sort of behavior? Listening, trying to diffuse it, and if all else fails, turning and walking away from it. 

Despite all of this, I still had an incredibly positive day yesterday.  The rest of my patients and families were the greatest!  They personify the very reason why I love working with the oncology population.  They make  my job more fulfilling and rewarding than almost any other experience:

•  Hugs and tears upon discharge.  
• Gentle touches and knowing glances during life's final moments. 
• Words of appreciation for even the smallest  kindness shown. 
• A need to thank them for allowing me to be part of their care. 
• A sense of a job-well-done as I left the building.

Hubby-Dearest often tells me that I "need to become thick-skinned" instead of allowing people to upset me to the point of tears.   He's full of advice that might fly in the "work-a-day-world" that he participates in, but not in mine! 


I happen to give 110% all the time -- at work, at home, in my volunteer settings.  That, coupled with the fact that I don't want to be one of those "thick skinned folks," means that I'll never be able to do what Hubby-Dearest suggests.  And I think deep down inside he knows that.  I think  he just hates to know that I've been pushed to the point of tears by anyone.  Plus he's a guy who doesn't cope well with a crying woman.  You'd think that after all these years (27 to be exact) he'd be used to it - but he's not.  It still bothers him.

I am a nurse - and because I put my whole self into that role when caring for my patients, I occasionally find myself wishing I could be more thick-skinned  -- but knowing without a single doubt that I'd never be able to put my head on the pillow and sleep at night if I were... 

Rather, I prefer to live and act according to the same philosophy Charles Dickens spoke of when he wrote:

"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts."